They Brew it, I sell it, You Drink it... and so do I..

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Good Old Customers

Just a short list of some of the things you can try to avoid saying in a specialist off-license, it would make us very happy if you did;

1. - Do you have any deals on?

2. - If I buy 2 bottles of wine do I get one free?

3. - If I buy 4 bottles of this beer will I get a free glass?

4. - Any 2 for 1 deals on? (thanks Threshers)

5. - Is Budvar as good as Budweiser?

6. - Do you have 3ltr bottles of White Lightning?

7. - Can I get discount if I buy 3 of anything?

8. - What's you cheapest largest beer?

9. - What's your cheapest wine?

10. - Is glass wear free? (yes I have actually been asked that!)

11. - Do you do home delivery? (wouldn't be too bad a question if we weren't a corner shop.)

12. - (one of my fav) When asked if you would like a bag, and you would not, the correct answer is "no thank-you" not "no, I'm saving the planet!"....... No you are not saving the planet, not one bit, even a little! If you want to help at all, take a bag and RE-USE IT!

13. - Do you have any wines for under a fiver? (then pay with a £50 note!)

14. - What do you mean your not serving me!?!? you can't tell me how much to drink!!

15. - Is a library card valid I.D?

Like I said, just a short list. Now with my little rant over, the next time you speak to any sales assistant, just remember - there people just like you, so if your nice to them they will be a lot more willing to help you.

Scott Adams - "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
- I kind of disagree, for me it is stupid people asking stupid questions.


  1. Some of them are quite amusing! I can understand they're frustrating, though.

    On the other hand, I don't think it's out of order to ask if there are any discounts available (bartering is fair game in most other independent shops rather than large chains!) - but I guess we're talking more get one free in a case rather than 2 for 1...

  2. Likewise trying to negotiate cheap shots in a specialist beer pub. On top of the regular 'got any Carling/Stella/Fosters/Smooth/WKD...

  3. Have been known to ask if they have giftpacks with a glass. They do make lovely presents for beer drinkers and often the packs are kept out the back in my experience.

  4. Meer - We don't mind those questions, their sensible. We have gift packs like that aswell.

  5. Frank Zappa said; 'Scientists beleive Carbon is the most plentiful element in the universe. I disagree - it's stupidity'
    or something along those lines anyway!